I never lasted anywhere until I became a dog trainer. Come in in the afternoon. Teach dogs.Go home 4.5 hours later. Base pay plus commissions = full time pay. Lasted 11 years.
I got forced out last year. I've been working with various after school programs since.
Last month I had to accept a role teaching summer school cooking classes (my regular company wasn't offering summer programs in my area). I had to get up at 5:30 a.m. 5 days the 1st week, 4 days the 2nd week. On the last day, I started feeling sick.
That was June 18th. I got progressively sicker for 3 days. I'm just now getting really better. People say, "Just get up earlier. " I can't. It makes me sick.
I've played it off as not being a morning person. But it's more.
The fluorescent lights give me migraines. The radios scramble my thoughts every time they squawk or blat. Some perfume makes it so I can't breathe.
The smell of the breakroom gags me, and I can't eat.
i couldn't last longer than 6 months at any job without burning out until i started doing part-time, fully remote, with flexible hours. one day a week is working for me right now but it's not ideal financially
it's only when i started working less that i realised how much energy it takes me to do all the "everyday" things like shopping/cooking/excercise/cleaning etc. the stuff other people see as background tasks already feels like a full time job to me
+ i think the idea of working feels extra bad because i'm hyper aware of how meaningless a lot of jobs are so i don't even get the good feelings of "well at least i'm a good citizen! i'm contributing to society!" and instead just feel like i'm going crazy
Yep the meaninglessness of it really gets to me. Because often we are suffering ALL THAT to just make more profit for some white dude and not to make any kind of difference.
Or to just pretend to be working which feels even worse :(
I noticed that I'm happiest and most at peace when I'm unemployed or underemployed, despite the bit of financial uncertainty. When I'm employed full time I'm stressed, burnt out, unhappy... One job even threw me straight into the pits of depression. And the funny thing? There was just as much financial uncertainty with a full time salary soooooo I really didn't see the point!
I feel this!! And I have never ever been able to commit to something like a mortgage because it feels like signing myself up to HAVE to work and earn a certain income. Like if I wanted to leave Iβd have to find another job paying the same, and with my track record I couldnβt have the long periods in between to recoverβ¦ it feels so suffocating and no one is truly safe in this economy. A job can be lost and then the house must be sold anyway π
I pushed my body for years because I needed to earn money to exchange for goods and services. The last couple of years I worked I had a headache hat and weighted sweatshirt at work. I taught preschool with a body that struggled to get up early and napped every afternoon just to be able to make dinner.
I quit a year ago in June at 51 and immediately pivoted to adult caregiver, first for my spouse when they broke their leg in two places, and then for my mother-in-law after she broke her hip in August. My body tried to hold it all together, but in March of this year it all came tumbling down. My chronic illnesses are done hiding. I am now paying for over twenty years of pushing my body beyond its limits. I loved what I did, but I can't go back.
This raises such a good point that it is so often disabled people who are expected to step into caregiving roles or pick up the slack on the home front so to speak.
This is often expected of me as βyouβre not doing anything anywayβ
Which completely disregards all that I do, and that there is a reason I am at home and not in the workforce myself.
Disabled people are literally out here caring for the elderly and each other - unpaid and disrespected.
Even when I had a work from home role, I was treated like I could be available to help everyone else at any time - disregarding my job responsibilities completely! And thatβs when I was able to earn a wage!
I really don't understand how people say things like no one wants to work, or no one would work if there was UBI or some other system in place so people wouldn't NEED a job for survival, while living in a world where the richest people REFUSE TO STOP WORKING.
Like... it can't be both. "work" can't be "a thing no one wants to do and wouldn't do unless they have to" AND "a thing rich people do for funsies, often until the literal day they die".
What we need is a way for people to be able to work on things they have passion for and not just whatever fuckin' thing they can get hired to do so they can pay their rent... which... as a side benefit, opens the door to a LOT of different working styles that would fit a lot more people in a lot more situations, so a lot of folks that don't or can't work now, probably could do some good in the world with just a little more flexibility then most jobs have these days.
We also gotta talk about the huge gap in care work. There are so many folks running around being taken care of by wives and mothers so that they can take on the load of workβat EVERY levelβand so this work is rendered invisible and those same people (usually men ofc) being taken care of are like βwdym just get it together????β
DUDE EDIT TO SAY I JUST REALISED I DIDNT TALK AHOUT THIS AT ALL IN THIS ARTICLE BUT IN THE ONE THAT COMES OUT THIS WEEK ππππ something to look forward to I guess
I did try to illustrate how that impacted me at uni with the mummyβs boys club that is computer science
Also they friggen short circuited every time I walked in the room. Most wouldnβt even say hey because of their own issues but how friggen isolating that felt to be blanked by everyone in my course (or chased after for a relationship) those were the only two options. I was never just part of the cohort.
And the tutors acted like not attending a lecture was a sign you werenβt committed and Iβm like hey maybe sheβs committed to her kids bob and you should be committed to accessibility instead of only prioritising losers with no other responsibilities π
Itβs mental!!
I was out when I realised the tutors idea of a full time work week was 70 hours straight drinking monster energy and mashing Cheeto dust into the keyboard.
Like I have a life! π and I want/need to eat bettter than that which takes time and energy that your wife is putting in for youβ¦.
Lots of things are easy if someone else if keeping your space clean, providing all your meals and organising everything else so you only have to focus on the one thing.
words out of my moutttthhhhhh! offices are the absolute worst environment for us who are neurodivergent... bright lights, loud chit-chat and volume we can't control, colleagues booking in random meetings with absolutely no context... then add chronic illness to the mix. burning out every couple of months is pretty standard for me. remote jobs created a much more accessible way of working but with more workplaces returning to 5 days a week being slightly more comfortable in structure that is not built for us is a mere distant memory π« (omg also the working faster than everyone else is TOO REAL i am often left twiddling my thumbs thinking about how i should be using energy to travel home rather than sitting around pretending to be busy...)
this piece gave such a good voice to so many things i've been thinking about
the futility of work when the system is so clearly rigged, the monotony of focusing on creative original work when art is increasingly artificalized and algorithmically engineered to find you to better sell you things, and others i don't even want to put down because i want to keep my mood upbeat for the afternoon
it can be so overwhelming sometimes but pieces like yours do a good job of grounding me β‘ΰΎΰ½² thank you
Authentic human made art is the ONLY thing we can offer in the face of ai generated garbage. As long as it is real and true to us, then it is something that can never be replicated.
I'm not surprised teaching swimming took such a toll on you. I used to volunteer as a learn-to-row coach one weekend a month and had to give it up.
It was the most physically and mentally exhausting thing I've ever done - and I've had a lot of responsible, high-stress jobs.
I was constantly 'on' and masking, making sure everyone was safe, happy and understanding what I was explaining and asking of them. I had to shout all day from a bumpy motor launch, watching five different people, all failing to do the same thing in different ways, encouraging and correcting them with a smile on my face and in my voice.
These people were paying customers, so I had to ensure they had a good time while learning what they came for and that break times were jolly and no one was left out of the conversation.
I always had a migraine by Saturday night, and by the end of Sunday was fit for nothing but to spend all of Monday in bed. Never underestimate the toll taken by 'little, part-time' roles!
Yep pretty much! Strangely the benefit to masking non-stop and being the responsible one was that the shifts flew by and I didnβt have time to be bored. And I at least felt it was meaningful work - teaching life-saving skills and being able to see the children progress. But I was only comfy doing it for a two hour shift at a time and even that I can no longer do.
As someone who's just had to start another soul-sucking part-time job and is already struggling mentally, this made me feel much less alone. Thank you x
I feel this so much!
I never lasted anywhere until I became a dog trainer. Come in in the afternoon. Teach dogs.Go home 4.5 hours later. Base pay plus commissions = full time pay. Lasted 11 years.
I got forced out last year. I've been working with various after school programs since.
Last month I had to accept a role teaching summer school cooking classes (my regular company wasn't offering summer programs in my area). I had to get up at 5:30 a.m. 5 days the 1st week, 4 days the 2nd week. On the last day, I started feeling sick.
That was June 18th. I got progressively sicker for 3 days. I'm just now getting really better. People say, "Just get up earlier. " I can't. It makes me sick.
I've played it off as not being a morning person. But it's more.
The fluorescent lights give me migraines. The radios scramble my thoughts every time they squawk or blat. Some perfume makes it so I can't breathe.
The smell of the breakroom gags me, and I can't eat.
You know.
Itβs the cumulative nervous system load of all of it!!
I could handle the sensory hell of wet and cold, in and out of the water, noisy echoey swimming pools when I was a swim teacher.
If I was also happy, not hormonal, not sick, not getting up too early and well treated by coworkers and supervisors.
But add in having to get up early, being ill or having a crap supervisor and I was very very quickly over my limit!
And thatβs because all the cold, wet and noise was already pushing me close to it.
I only lasted so long because I had a great supervisor and worked half days (afternoons). I lasted a year and left shortly after my great supervisor left - the others were horrible π©
loved all of this!
i couldn't last longer than 6 months at any job without burning out until i started doing part-time, fully remote, with flexible hours. one day a week is working for me right now but it's not ideal financially
it's only when i started working less that i realised how much energy it takes me to do all the "everyday" things like shopping/cooking/excercise/cleaning etc. the stuff other people see as background tasks already feels like a full time job to me
+ i think the idea of working feels extra bad because i'm hyper aware of how meaningless a lot of jobs are so i don't even get the good feelings of "well at least i'm a good citizen! i'm contributing to society!" and instead just feel like i'm going crazy
Yep the meaninglessness of it really gets to me. Because often we are suffering ALL THAT to just make more profit for some white dude and not to make any kind of difference.
Or to just pretend to be working which feels even worse :(
I noticed that I'm happiest and most at peace when I'm unemployed or underemployed, despite the bit of financial uncertainty. When I'm employed full time I'm stressed, burnt out, unhappy... One job even threw me straight into the pits of depression. And the funny thing? There was just as much financial uncertainty with a full time salary soooooo I really didn't see the point!
I feel this!! And I have never ever been able to commit to something like a mortgage because it feels like signing myself up to HAVE to work and earn a certain income. Like if I wanted to leave Iβd have to find another job paying the same, and with my track record I couldnβt have the long periods in between to recoverβ¦ it feels so suffocating and no one is truly safe in this economy. A job can be lost and then the house must be sold anyway π
I pushed my body for years because I needed to earn money to exchange for goods and services. The last couple of years I worked I had a headache hat and weighted sweatshirt at work. I taught preschool with a body that struggled to get up early and napped every afternoon just to be able to make dinner.
I quit a year ago in June at 51 and immediately pivoted to adult caregiver, first for my spouse when they broke their leg in two places, and then for my mother-in-law after she broke her hip in August. My body tried to hold it all together, but in March of this year it all came tumbling down. My chronic illnesses are done hiding. I am now paying for over twenty years of pushing my body beyond its limits. I loved what I did, but I can't go back.
This raises such a good point that it is so often disabled people who are expected to step into caregiving roles or pick up the slack on the home front so to speak.
This is often expected of me as βyouβre not doing anything anywayβ
Which completely disregards all that I do, and that there is a reason I am at home and not in the workforce myself.
Disabled people are literally out here caring for the elderly and each other - unpaid and disrespected.
Even when I had a work from home role, I was treated like I could be available to help everyone else at any time - disregarding my job responsibilities completely! And thatβs when I was able to earn a wage!
I really don't understand how people say things like no one wants to work, or no one would work if there was UBI or some other system in place so people wouldn't NEED a job for survival, while living in a world where the richest people REFUSE TO STOP WORKING.
Like... it can't be both. "work" can't be "a thing no one wants to do and wouldn't do unless they have to" AND "a thing rich people do for funsies, often until the literal day they die".
What we need is a way for people to be able to work on things they have passion for and not just whatever fuckin' thing they can get hired to do so they can pay their rent... which... as a side benefit, opens the door to a LOT of different working styles that would fit a lot more people in a lot more situations, so a lot of folks that don't or can't work now, probably could do some good in the world with just a little more flexibility then most jobs have these days.
Yep.. i work so insanely hard at the things that matter to me, and then get called lazy by people who just show up daily and do nothing
We also gotta talk about the huge gap in care work. There are so many folks running around being taken care of by wives and mothers so that they can take on the load of workβat EVERY levelβand so this work is rendered invisible and those same people (usually men ofc) being taken care of are like βwdym just get it together????β
Yeah exactly!
DUDE EDIT TO SAY I JUST REALISED I DIDNT TALK AHOUT THIS AT ALL IN THIS ARTICLE BUT IN THE ONE THAT COMES OUT THIS WEEK ππππ something to look forward to I guess
I did try to illustrate how that impacted me at uni with the mummyβs boys club that is computer science
Also they friggen short circuited every time I walked in the room. Most wouldnβt even say hey because of their own issues but how friggen isolating that felt to be blanked by everyone in my course (or chased after for a relationship) those were the only two options. I was never just part of the cohort.
And the tutors acted like not attending a lecture was a sign you werenβt committed and Iβm like hey maybe sheβs committed to her kids bob and you should be committed to accessibility instead of only prioritising losers with no other responsibilities π
Itβs mental!!
I was out when I realised the tutors idea of a full time work week was 70 hours straight drinking monster energy and mashing Cheeto dust into the keyboard.
Like I have a life! π and I want/need to eat bettter than that which takes time and energy that your wife is putting in for youβ¦.
Lots of things are easy if someone else if keeping your space clean, providing all your meals and organising everything else so you only have to focus on the one thing.
Actually didnβt talk about this at all!!! πππ itβs in my next article this week πππ
Our minds π§ π§ we were on the same wavelength I gotchu
words out of my moutttthhhhhh! offices are the absolute worst environment for us who are neurodivergent... bright lights, loud chit-chat and volume we can't control, colleagues booking in random meetings with absolutely no context... then add chronic illness to the mix. burning out every couple of months is pretty standard for me. remote jobs created a much more accessible way of working but with more workplaces returning to 5 days a week being slightly more comfortable in structure that is not built for us is a mere distant memory π« (omg also the working faster than everyone else is TOO REAL i am often left twiddling my thumbs thinking about how i should be using energy to travel home rather than sitting around pretending to be busy...)
this piece gave such a good voice to so many things i've been thinking about
the futility of work when the system is so clearly rigged, the monotony of focusing on creative original work when art is increasingly artificalized and algorithmically engineered to find you to better sell you things, and others i don't even want to put down because i want to keep my mood upbeat for the afternoon
it can be so overwhelming sometimes but pieces like yours do a good job of grounding me β‘ΰΎΰ½² thank you
Authentic human made art is the ONLY thing we can offer in the face of ai generated garbage. As long as it is real and true to us, then it is something that can never be replicated.
yes exactly. underline this so hard
I'm not surprised teaching swimming took such a toll on you. I used to volunteer as a learn-to-row coach one weekend a month and had to give it up.
It was the most physically and mentally exhausting thing I've ever done - and I've had a lot of responsible, high-stress jobs.
I was constantly 'on' and masking, making sure everyone was safe, happy and understanding what I was explaining and asking of them. I had to shout all day from a bumpy motor launch, watching five different people, all failing to do the same thing in different ways, encouraging and correcting them with a smile on my face and in my voice.
These people were paying customers, so I had to ensure they had a good time while learning what they came for and that break times were jolly and no one was left out of the conversation.
I always had a migraine by Saturday night, and by the end of Sunday was fit for nothing but to spend all of Monday in bed. Never underestimate the toll taken by 'little, part-time' roles!
Yep pretty much! Strangely the benefit to masking non-stop and being the responsible one was that the shifts flew by and I didnβt have time to be bored. And I at least felt it was meaningful work - teaching life-saving skills and being able to see the children progress. But I was only comfy doing it for a two hour shift at a time and even that I can no longer do.
That absolutely makes sense.
As someone who's just had to start another soul-sucking part-time job and is already struggling mentally, this made me feel much less alone. Thank you x
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